Between the sheets...

Bet that grabbed your attention. Well, it got mine and I am the one tip-tapping this outer-manifestation of my inner-infestation of mindless thoughts swirling between layers of profundity. It's where I have been for the better part of a day. In bed. Not because I am sick, depressed, cold or hiding from the world but simply just because I can. And am.

It is part of a personal challenge, if you will. What will I learn about myself if I change some of all that I know, that I do, or that I think? It is a strange thing to consider stripping back the flimsy plastic frame of my everyday existence.  Take this away and my form perhaps functionality may be affected. I guess I am ready to be left out there bare; ready to rejuvenate somehow. I'm well aware that I can't do this in my own home. It'd be like taking off my regular clothes and dipping into someone's else dress-up cupboard. How could I possibly wake up at home and decide to spend the day in bed? Too much there that is familiar and instinctively button-pressing, well that and all the chore-worky stuff that is littered around my home. Perhaps my life even.  It is hard to ignore the metre high weeds that wave cheerily from every possible day lit crevice, the soft pillows of corner-dwelling hair balls and body building fluff behind a freestanding bath tub, the faint oily fingermarks on walls, and the piles of paper mountains... Yep. Stuff.

What I am surprised about is that it doesn't come naturally to me. Hard to reconcile this when I loathe daily routine and suffocating structure yet when I am here faced with endless possibilities, I choke. Can't quite seem to find my path. Be comfortable without this outer skin. But I so want to be here. Like this. Doing whatever I please. Just to be at one without knowing what is coming next. Bloody hell. But I struggle with this whole idea and that gets me back on a rant inside my own head space once more. Can't stand controlling people and would swear blind that I am not someone who needs to be in control but ... reading this back to myself now, and these words start to tell me a different story. But I am still the central character. Go figure.

I will let you know how I get on...